Fake it till you …
A few days ago I was thinking about a photo I had taken in Los Angeles.
On the way to the school where I was doing the internship, I noticed a mural.
He said, “We’re never as strong as when we feel safe enough to admit our weakness.”
I liked it. A lot.
It seemed to me to be an affirmation particularly suited to the era in which we live: the era of social media, the era of “influencers”, the era of “the important thing is to be cool”.
Today everything is appearing, everyone’s mission is to be special, fashionable, PERFECT. Admitting one’s weaknesses would mean not being so perfect: it would mean being VULNERABLE.
Strength and weakness
The social media overflow with amazing holiday photos, endless professional successes, evenings with glittered friends, lights, colors and sounds and it seems that everyone’s lives are full and wonderful. To discover then that so many in reality live the blackest solitude. Even I have the pictures “beautiful”, not the face that my husband sees at 7 in the morning before the coffee …! We highlight the best of us, not flab and pimples …
So I thought of this sort of circulating “lies”, the superficiality and the tendency we have today to hide our weaknesses.
Is it right to hide your weaknesses in life and work?
But how much does this “hide” benefit our lives and careers?
I don’t think so much. Once, as a young girl, I thought that at a job interview the gaps should be omitted from the coveted position; today, after the entrepreneurial experience, I am one of those who put the sincerity of a candidate, compared to his skills, among the characteristics that I value most. This honesty, which today is scarce, is a factor that leads to understanding well who we are facing, compared to our needs, saving us time and future disappointments! In collaborations does not change much: for a freelancer who tries to build a team is essential to know the real capabilities of those who are at his side, so you can trust and leave without any reservation.
In social relations, I think it’s the same. What’s cool about dating people who look like something they’re not?
Then I was reminded of the “lies” of a different kind: those that instead grow.
“Fake it till you …”
One of the Ted conferences that most excited me is the one held by the American psychologist Amy Cuddy on studies on body language. There is a point where the scholar remembers how her academic mentor encouraged her to overcome her own limits and insecurities in public exposure with the advice “Fake it till you make it”.
The day she found herself having to push her student who, despite having great potential, could not overcome her limiting condition, Cuddy discovered her personal elaboration of that advice and said to the student: “Fake it till you become it “!
To educate oneself about improvement, overcoming one’s limits. And to do so, put yourself almost in a condition of suffering without giving it to see, as long as that condition is so natural that it begins to be part of us; and the limit will be exceeded.
My way of practicing this method lies in being put in the situation of not being able to prevaricate on future projects: in three months I will have to take them as a living example of what I will expose, I will be the testimony of the innovative situations that I wish to share.
Now, this is my interpretation of the saying “Fake it till you become it”:
“WORK ON IT TILL YOU BECOME IT”
… then I promise I’ll be strong enough to admit all my weaknesses!